There are 101 barriers that can break a relationship faster than you even know; Maybe you should leave that talking stage for now and watch a movie, if you don’t have strength for wahala.
Relationships do not just end at “I love you”. Have you thought about the possible lack of communication, the distance, financial differences, third parties, or the possibility of not getting along with each other’s family?
If you’re dating or even married with 10 kids, every relationship, no matter how strong or beautiful it is, has its own share of barriers. However, the great thing is that barriers don’t have to break your relationship, the way you handle them can in fact make it even stronger.
So, let’s talk about 5 ways to deal with relationship barriers and how to grow through them with your partner.
1. Have Honest And Open Conversations
He “jokingly” (in his own words) calls you fat and body shames you every chance he gets, but you have refused to talk to him about it, because of course “it’s not that deep, and you just can’t take a joke”.
A lot of relationship problems grow in silence. One person assumes, the other avoids, and the issue stays unresolved. Always talk, don’t just assume you know what your partner is thinking, except you have a degree in mind reading.
It takes two people to have a conversation, so there needs to be an explanation for why you’re mute like a poem is being read to you, common! And you’re not dating a masquerade, don’t always be ready to talk back in defense like you’re getting trained for World War III.
2. Identify The Real Barrier
There are times you just want to exchange your partner for 1 milk cup of garri, sugar, and groundnut. But have stopped to think about why you might be feeling that way?
Sometimes it’s not just about the late replies, it could be that you feel unimportant, you keep going on about how your partner’s shoe is not properly laced, but what you’re worried about is how they will come off as tacky to other people.
Sometimes what you’re fighting about isn’t what you’re really fighting about. So, before you go all commando on your partner, take time to ask deeper questions and find the root of the problem. That way you’ll stop fighting every week and escape finding yourselves in the Guinness Book Of Records as “The Worlds’ Most Fighting Couple”.
3. Long Distance? Build Virtual Intimacy
What do you need the gym for, when you’re in a long distance relationship? That is just the right amount of exercise for you, so save yourself the money for gym subscription.
Long-distance relationships can quickly become long-suffering love if you’re not intentional. Intimacy is not just physical, it’s also about being present.
Send cute text messages, not every time “have you eaten?”, it’s not like you can feed one another over the phone. Schedule quality time, at least before you finally get to be together.
You may not always be in the same place, but you can still build a strong bond.
ALSO READ: 5 Ways To Understand Your Partner’s Love Languages
4. Address Financial Differences Early
Introvert but he is buying the 10th sneakers in one month already, and he’ll most likely not get to wear them till they start peeling off.
Money can be a major barrier if not addressed on time. Differences in spending habits, income levels, or financial goals can lead to resentment.
You see her as a threat because her salary is in 6 figures, but yours is not there yet. Just remember that, there’s no law that says “the man must earn more than the woman” so relax.
Talk about financial expectations and responsibilities, create shared goals (saving, investing, or spending), be partners and not competitors.
5. No Third Parties
Your neighbour now has a calendar for the days you and your partner quarrel in a week, and is always ready to be your referee.
Third party interference is a barrier you can’t ignore, so you need to set boundaries. While support from others can be valuable, your relationship should be shaped by you and your partner, not by family, friends, or even social pressure.
Nobody said you should ban your mother-in-law from visiting. Boundaries don’t mean shutting people out, they mean protecting your space. You can listen to advice without letting it control your relationship.
RELATED: 5 Tell Tale Signs That Your Relationship Is Headed For The Rocks
Barriers can either build walls or strengthen the bond, the choice is in your hands. Deal with the barriers, and don’t pretend they don’t exist.
Every lasting relationship faces challenges, but if both parties are willing to fight for each other instead of fighting each other, you’ll get through it. Now, the question is;
Will you shut down, or open up?
Will you walk away, or walk through it together?
You can find out more about relationships, how it works, learn and unlearn some things, when you join the Dating and Relationship Community on Fusion.
343 Responses
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The point about not brushing off jokes that hurt really hit home. It’s amazing how much resentment can build if we don’t call it out early. I think having the courage to speak up kindly is such an underrated skill in relationships.
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