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5 Things I Swore I’d Never Do as a Parent (Until I Became One)

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Before I became a parent, I had thoughts. Big ones. I would sit there, quietly judging other parents in restaurants, malls, on Instagram or the bus, with the full confidence of someone who had zero children.

I told myself, “When I become a parent, I’ll NEVER do that.”

Fast forward to today, I’ve done all the things…. Every. Single. One. If you’re a parent, you’re probably already laughing because you know how this goes. If you’re not, take this as a gentle warning; parenting will humble you in ways you can’t imagine. Here are the 5 things I swore I’d never do as a parent… until I became one.

1. Using Screens as Babysitters

I was so passionate about this one.  I’d say proudly “Kids need interaction, not gadgets!”  “My child will NEVER be glued to a screen. I’ll only allow educational shows, and only for 20 minutes per day tops.” 

Then came the market runs, the traffic jams, or just buying myself 30 minutes to cook dinner, or just stare into the void. Screens have saved my sanity more times than I can count. And before I knew it, I was handing over my phone like it was the holy grail of peace and quiet.

Is it ideal? Nope. But sometimes, a tablet is the only thing standing between you and a public meltdown. And for that, I have no regrets. (Except maybe for knowing Ms Rachel lines word for word).

2. Bribe My Child with Snacks

“My child will behave because I’ll set clear boundaries and they’ll understand the value of discipline,” I said. With a straight face.

Now?

I’ve been that parent offering biscuits, cartoons, and ice cream just so my toddler would sit still for two minutes at the doctor’s office. Or whispering, “If you just stop crying, I’ll let you watch Cocomelon after dinner.”

ALSO READ; How to Get More Sleep as a Parent (Hint: You Won’t)

Bribery, my friends, is not just a tool, it’s a survival skill.

3. Say “Because I Said So”

I promised myself I’d explain things. I’d reason with my child. I’d be different.

But after answering “Why?” for the 75th time in one day, something in me snapped. Out came the words I swore I’d never say:
“Because I said so, that’s why!”
And I understood, in that moment, every parent who’d gone through this before me. It wasn’t impatience, it was self-preservation.

You know there are moments when your brain is fried, your patience is thinning, and your child is asking “why” for the tenth time about something. In those moments, logic takes a nap, and the parental decree becomes law.

4. Let Them Leave the House in Ridiculous Outfits

Pre-parent me thought: “My child will always look neat, matching, and adorable. They’ll reflect my personal style.”

Reality: My 4-year-old proudly left the house wearing Spider-Man pyjamas, mismatched socks, and rain boots to attend a birthday party. And I let it happen. Why? Because sometimes, you pick your battles. 

5. Letting Clutter Take Over

Clutter in a new parent's home. 5 Things I Swore I'd Never Do as a Parent (Until I Became One)

Pre-kid me thought: “My home will be a dream, minimalist, organized, serene.”

Actual Me: There are Legos in the bathtub, glitter in my hair, and tiny socks in the fridge. The mess is not a phase, it’s a lifestyle. I now consider a floor that’s 60% toy-free a victory.

Parenting Hack: Lean into the chaos. One day, that juice-stained couch will be a nostalgic masterpiece.

Bottom Line: Never Say Never

Turns out, the things I swore I’d never do were based on an ideal version of parenting that doesn’t account for exhaustion, time constraints, emotional meltdowns (theirs and mine), and most of all, love. Because sometimes, love looks like letting them wear pyjamas to the supermarket or handing over your phone for five minutes of peace.

Parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about adaptation, survival, and grace (especially for yourself). I’ve broken every rule I swore I’d follow, and somehow… My kid still laughs, grows, and thrives. So, to all the parents out there holding themselves to the impossible standards of their pre-kid selves, give yourself a break. Your little one doesn’t need a flawless parent. They just need you, Caprisone bribes and all.

To the parents out there that needs a supportive community and want to read relatable parental stories to take the edge of sometimes, join the Fusion Parenting Community.

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Azeezah Adetunji
Azeezah Adetunji

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