As a Nigerian adult, you know December isn’t just a festive season; it’s the unofficial billing Olympics.
From matching aso-ebi for your partner’s cousin’s wedding, to paying for office hangout, to buying gifts for friends and family, to concert tickets and “detty December” plans, there’s always something demanding your hard-earned money.
It’s as if the universe is conspiring with sapa to make sure your January is full of shege. But fear not, because I have curated a guide to dodging these bills like the pro “shege survivor” you are. Let’s get into it!
Always Complain Like It’s Your Birthright
Nobody wants to bill someone who complains every five minutes.
When you make it a point of duty to complain about your financial situation every time you get a chance, the likelihood of getting billed will be next to impossible, except you have heartless people with PhDs in audacity around you, and for those, there’s step two..
Trade Your Flashy Phone for a ‘Torchlight’
See those your big phones that attract unnecessary attention, that your iPhone 14 Pro Max? It’s a walking billboard for billing.
Sell it and invest the money in preparation for next year’s shege. That way, nobody will suspect you’re a “billionaire in transit.”
Get a humble Nokia torchlight or TECNO that screams ‘leave me alone.’ Imagine someone asking for money while you’re using a phone that looks like it belongs in 2003. Exactly. They might even pity you and dash you money.
Buy Okrika Clothes
Like they always say at the “Okrika” stores, na mumu dey go boutique! Save your bank account the headache of buying designer clothes that will easily give you away as the next big thing in town and attract billing.
Buy “Okrika” wears and make it a point of duty to announce to everyone that cares to listen whenever they compliment you. You can say things like, “You’ll never believe how much/where I bought this outfit, it’s just 500 Naira o!”
Don’t forget to throw in that line about “making do with the little you have…” Nobody will dare ask you to contribute to any extravagant expenses when you’ve positioned yourself as the king or queen of thrift.
Avoid Calls Like a Pro
Screen all calls! That call from your cousin in the village? You know it’s not “Merry Christmas” they’re about to say but “I need money for New Year.”
Activate DND (Do Not Disturb) and return only those you’re certain will not end up billing you, and if you must respond, use WhatsApp texts where you can carefully craft excuses.
Go Solo: Break Up With Your Partner
Let’s keep it real. Being in a relationship is the major source of billing in December. Cut it off and enjoy the peace of mind that comes with being single!
Enjoy your money alone, you worked hard for it! Plus, you get bonus points for entering January without emotional or financial baggage.
RELATED: 4 Reasons Why You Should Stay Single In December
You’re not sure how to do that? Stay tuned for my next article where I’ll be providing you with updates on how to serve breakfast in December.
Dodging bills in December isn’t just about saving money; it’s about maintaining your sanity and starting January without having to sell your kidney.
Try these strategies, and watch how your December becomes peaceful and financially secure. Just remember to thank me when you’re sipping zobo in your house instead of crying in debt recovery meetings.
If you loved these tips and you’d like to get more, join the Dating and Relationship community on Fusion. But don’t go and fall in love in December o!
8,170 Responses
Good article! We will be linking to this particularly great post on our site. Keep up the great writing.
over the counter cialis walgreens: Tadalify – Tadalify
https://tadalify.com/# Tadalify
Tadalify Tadalify cialis black
Nice post. I learn something tougher on totally different blogs everyday. It can all the time be stimulating to learn content material from different writers and follow a little bit one thing from their store. I’d favor to use some with the content material on my blog whether or not you don’t mind. Natually I’ll give you a link in your internet blog. Thanks for sharing.
Compare Kamagra with branded alternatives: KamaMeds – Men’s sexual health solutions online
Tadalify: Tadalify – canadian pharmacy cialis 40 mg
SildenaPeak generic viagra in us 100mg viagra pill
“This post has helped me solve my issue, thanks a ton!”
http://sildenapeak.com/# viagra super active plus
SildenaPeak SildenaPeak SildenaPeak
SildenaPeak: SildenaPeak – SildenaPeak
Affordable sildenafil citrate tablets for men: Safe access to generic ED medication – Sildenafil oral jelly fast absorption effect
cheap cialis generic online: prescription for cialis – why is cialis so expensive
But wanna input that you have a very nice website , I enjoy the style it actually stands out.
ED treatment without doctor visits: KamaMeds – Men’s sexual health solutions online
cialis free samples: Tadalify – Tadalify
Online sources for Kamagra in the United States KamaMeds Kamagra reviews from US customers
Online sources for Kamagra in the United States: Sildenafil oral jelly fast absorption effect – Non-prescription ED tablets discreetly shipped
Compare Kamagra with branded alternatives ED treatment without doctor visits ED treatment without doctor visits
female viagra pill buy online: buying sildenafil 100mg – SildenaPeak
order viagra for women: SildenaPeak – SildenaPeak
http://sildenapeak.com/# viagra singapore prescription
Affordable sildenafil citrate tablets for men: Kamagra reviews from US customers – Non-prescription ED tablets discreetly shipped
Safe access to generic ED medication Sildenafil oral jelly fast absorption effect Fast-acting ED solution with discreet packaging
https://kamameds.shop/# Non-prescription ED tablets discreetly shipped
SildenaPeak: SildenaPeak – SildenaPeak
Nice blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A theme like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog shine. Please let me know where you got your design. Thank you
Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I will definitely return.
cialis precio: Tadalify – cialis milligrams
very nice post, i actually love this web site, keep on it
I like this blog very much, Its a very nice situation to read and obtain info .
viagara cialis levitra: Tadalify – free cialis samples
har også bogmærket dig for at se på nye ting på din blog Hej! Har du noget imod, hvis jeg deler din blog med min facebook
furosemide 100mg: CardioMeds Express – CardioMeds Express
SteroidCare Pharmacy can i buy prednisone over the counter in usa canadian online pharmacy prednisone
buy prednisone 10mg online: SteroidCare Pharmacy – can i buy prednisone over the counter in usa
SteroidCare Pharmacy: SteroidCare Pharmacy – SteroidCare Pharmacy
TrustedMeds Direct TrustedMeds Direct amoxicillin 1000 mg capsule
amoxicillin 500mg without prescription: can you buy amoxicillin over the counter – amoxicillin 825 mg
I’m still learning from you, but I’m making my way to the top as well. I definitely love reading everything that is written on your site.Keep the posts coming. I enjoyed it!
Com tanto conteúdo e artigos, alguma vez se deparou com problemas de plágio ou violação de direitos de autor? O meu site tem muito conteúdo exclusivo que eu próprio criei ou
FertiCare Online: FertiCare Online – where to buy clomid pill
IverGrove IverGrove fda ivermectin
The Pink Salt Trick is a minimalist but effective morning routine: Just drink a glass of lukewarm water mixed with a pinch of Himalayan pink salt as soo
generic for amoxicillin: TrustedMeds Direct – TrustedMeds Direct
FertiCare Online: cost of clomid without a prescription – FertiCare Online
canada pharmacy prednisone: SteroidCare Pharmacy – SteroidCare Pharmacy
SteroidCare Pharmacy: SteroidCare Pharmacy – SteroidCare Pharmacy
I have not checked in here for some time because I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are good quality so I guess I will add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂